Waitin for Santa

Problem (#FirstWorldProblems): I hate shopping. I hate grocery shopping, fabric shopping, clothes shopping (see RJ's "sometimes I forget you're a girl" quote), shopping for me, shopping for others. Come Christmas, it is a necessity.
Solution: Apply my 2nd greatest talent- procrastination (second only to sleeping, of course). Today, Christmas Eve, I started and finished my Christmas shopping. Given, there wasn't that much left to choose from, but it worked. Farmington wasn't busy at all; everyone else was doing things you should be doing on Christmas Eve.

Last night Megan and I re-lived our high school memories, which included a "hang out" at Walmart.

 Cute, right? That's what we thought. Then we looked at the fine print- where the license plate says "Land of Enchantment". They spelled "Enchantment" wrong. This is the quality of education in which I grew up. Joke-a-licious.

As long as I'm going off on the before-and-after pictures, here's another one. I helped Lexi with her ginger bread house last year and this year. They always turn out so...beautiful.

Keshmish Baa'hozho to all and to all a goodnight.

HOW BOUT DEM TEXAS GEHLS!

For the last hour, I've been thinking about something very important. Is it ya'll or is it y'all? Grammar gods please guide me to the correct placement of the apostrophe. Rather, 2nd grade teacher, remind me of the rules. The word is a contraction of "you" and "all". At first, I think that it goes between the two- ya'll, like in "it's". But what about "don't"? Why isn't it "do'nt"? That's how I'm going to start writing. Ohhhh now I see that the apostrophe substitutes the absent letter. This makes more sense. It's probably y'all. One thing is for sure- I miss my Southern roommates! Last winter I was the odd ball from the nott-South. One of my other favorite Southerners is this guy. I can't figure out how to embed the video, so you'll just have to click here!

If we were your kids, we'd punish ourselves!

That's what I thought of when I walked out of my interview today. "If you hired me, I'd fire myself."

What a horrible, horrible interview. I was advised to apply to be an EatTech at the MTC, which is the person in charge of the billing/ordering/paperwork/accounting. First of all, I hate accounting. Secondly, I don't even like the MTC. Thirdly, I don't even want to major in dietetics. Why did I apply? I have no freaking clue. For now, I'll just stick with my mindless minimum wage job.
The bad thing: I have to face my interviewer often. He's my TA,  he works at the MTC, and I help him with his after-school-program class. I'm pretty sure he thinks I'm the biggest idiot right now.
The good thing: I don't have to sign my life away until April 2013.

Also. All I want for Christmas is to skip the next 2 weeks. Mmm maybe 4.

Fin

I took my final for anatomy tonight. Not good. Ohhhhh well. At least now I'll have another 12 hours in my week. Because I took an oath with my own blood that I would not release any information about the final until Friday, I cannot say which structure I was clueless on (it would make this story a lot funnier). But I can say that I ended up writing, "For NARNIA!" as the answer.
Hm, my hair smells like cadaver. Now that I think about it, I remember leaning over one this morning and drenching the ends in it. Yummm. It's too bad I didn't do better in the class- I would have taken the dissection class for sure.  Here is my all time favorite structure of the body: arbor vitae- the tree of life.  

So here is my embarrassing story for the week. They've redone all the time clocks on campus and at the same time, they switched the back gate to the MTC from keypad code access to swiping your BYU ID. On Sunday, I was a few minutes late to work. For some reason, my card wasn't letting me in. I could have walked around to the front gate, which would have taken 10 minutes, and it was cold. Instead, I looked at the gap between the gate and the ground. And I crawled under it. Apparently, there are surveillance cameras and security came after me. Breaking in is a bad choice. That was probably more action than the security guards have had in a long time.

Reminds me of this great clip

I forgot I had a blog.

My reason for blogging is simple. I have been on campus way too long today and I am flippin done with school work for now. Unfortunately, I can't leave. I am not a fan of the whole 10pm lab thing, followed by lab at 7 the next morning. However, I am even less of a fan of failing a class 2 times. Summary: Jeffery's bored and doesn't want to do homework. (Click here if you don't get the reference).

BYU is a strange place. I like to think about the quirky things the students obsess with. I frequently ask my UNM friends if these things apply just to BYU, or if they're part of college life in general. Coincidentally, I found a blog that's dedicated to this topic, but it has since retired. Now I will make my own.

BYU students love:
1. Donating plasma. There's something edgy about it. Border-line prostitution? Earning money for sitting there? Health facilities are smart- "Let's set up 6 donating centers in the city where we can find young, active, healthy, alcohol/drug/STD free who are extremely desperate for money!" Everyone falls for it. Not me, though. Maybe I would had I not been diagnosed with malignant melanoma as a small child. Just kidding, that didn't happen. But I am studying that for my final.

2. Harry Potter. I dunno. Maybe it was just a Bloomfield thing. Only the Mormons and the uber-geeks liked HP. It wasn't cool, it wasn't hip, it wasn't respected. Then I come here and was blown away when I couldn't get a ticket for the midnight showing 3 months in advance. 42% of the posts on Overheard are references to HP. It's great.

3. Engaging in/making fun of PDA. People participate in this activity because there is no such thing as private display of affection here. And if there is, it is frowned upon. "Keep it clean, play it safe, don't go places by yourselves". Just flag it in front of the rest of the student body. I don't have a problem with his arm around her. I have a problem with them making out during firesides. "Stop twisting your arm awkwardly to put his chapstick on for him; he can do it himself. I'm just trying to listen to President Packer." I understand nightly date flings. I do not understand my neighbor who would constantly pretzel with her SI at twelve noon. Nor do I understand "library couples". I just want to read about the hepatic portal system. I suppose they don't realize everyone around them is gagging. Wuv twue wuv.

Postscript: My kidney dialysis diet ends in t-minus 2 1/2 hours. I can't wait to drink water. And eat a tortilla. And not eat unseasoned chicken for breakfast. And not count milligrams of phosphorus. I am soooo grateful for my healthy kidneys. Yee-haw! #Get at me H2O, Na, K, P.

New fame, new name

Procastination nation

Today my to-do list was two columns long. Because of an interesting night at the latin dance club (funny story) I slept waayyyyy too long. And then I got ready and watched football all day. Now I'm procrastinating even longer by blogging. Here is the New Mexico trip.

The zoo- with all 5 kids (including Pops).
I think I spent more time in Albuquerque than Bloomfield, which i'm completely fine with. I got to hang out with my high school bff- he took me on a 'tour' of UNM. Chilled with za brothers.



A couple weeks ago my mom and Cade came to Provo. Cade is one ripped 11 year old. He weighs as much as me and is just a few inches shorter. My terrific friend Casey took us canoeing. It was a great trip and was one of our last memories before I dropped him off at the airport for his China study abroad. I can't wait for his return January!