This Week's Awards

Da da da! There are a lot of good things in my life. Rill good things in lyfe. Here are this week's finds. I do not apologize for the following goodness.

Documentaries. 
1. Miss Representation. This makes you feel empowered. It makes you feel motivated. (viewer discretion advised)


2. The House I Live In. This makes you feel like crap. It makes you cry.



Singer Friends.
1. The National Parks. My friends Brady & Sydney make a perfect duo in their video that was released this week.



2. Noteworthy. My friend Jen is the adorable 3rd soloist. These ladies are in a competition to open for Kelly Clarkson at this year's Stadium of Fire.



Songs. 
1. Call Me Maybe meets Mumford & Sons and The Lumineers. Lovely.



2. Sometime Around Midnight. The guys sang/screamed this 100 times on our way to Cali. It is my life.
Om-Noms.
1. Tomato Orecchiette Pasta

2. Paprika Chicken

Videos.
1. If We Could See Inside Other People's Hearts.



2. The Why and How of Effective Altruism.

Run.

March is the month I get to make a few decisions. SOME PRETTY HEAVY DECISIONS. There are so many factors that play into each of them, they start to intertwine, everything's a mess, and it gets overwhelming. Last week, I was supposed to decide whether or not to keep my position in Y-Serve. As I explained some complicated factors to one of my supervisors there, she gave me the most beautiful insight. Not that I was complaining or feeling bad about having decisions to make, I just didn't realize what a blessing  it is to make my life into an adventure. There are so many things I can do. There are so many people I can help. I can make my life into what I want it to be. So, here's my excitement for deciding which grad schools to apply to, where to go on an internship, where to live, which service program to direct, how much time to spend studying for the GRE and most importantly- what kind of outlook I'm going to have. The sun was out today! Here are some of my favorite outdoorsy-ish pictures from the last year. My life is pretty open right now- so let the next set of adventures begin. 

"I'm going to open my mind to all these new found exciting possibilities...I gotta grow up, be someone. 

Draw a map, find a path, take a breath, and run."  

Right now.

Right now.

Grading papers.

Garlic bread.

Band of Horses.

Life is good.

This is not a haiku.

And neither are you.

Midnight Musings

A few weeks ago, my dear friend Claire taught a very insightful lesson in Relief Society that was exactly what I needed. Here are some my thoughts on it and conclusions I have made since then.

One of Satan's most efficient tactics is to tempt us to let our lives me run by fear and doubt. In our lesson, Claire talked about how her fiance used to not take shots in basketball because he was scared of missing. Sure, that example seems silly, but I definitely do that in my life.

There are a lot of things I am scared of. Suddenly, they all seem to be hitting me in the face. And right now, I honestly don't know how I'm going to make it through the next 4 months. Of course, I know I will, I just don't know how.

As I thought about this last night, I had an epiphany. This is one of the very basic lessons I learned in Primary. Let's be honest- we all have our favorite Book of Mormon stories, and maybe we have some we don't necessarily like as much as others. Well, for me, Nephi was not my favorite. I attribute this to an "overused" (yeah, I know, no such thing) story. It's the one that's always talked about, the one I always read about, it's the song I didn't like singing in Primary, it's the only scripture mastery people use as spiritual thoughts, etc. Anyway- I tend to always tune out anything about Nephi (call to repentance on aisle 4). However, last night, it came to life. When Nephi had to go get the plates, he really didn't know what he was doing. This was an irrational death wish. But he knew that "the Lord giveth no commandments unto the children of men, save he shall prepare a way for them".

Seriously- logically, there is no way that I can do some of the things I need to do right now. But I, like Nephi, know that I haven't been abandoned. I haven't been asked to do things that are impossible. I haven't been asked to live beyond my capacity.

As I try to put my fears and doubts aside, clinging to faith, sometimes I struggle. I'm so similar to one spoken of in Mark 9. A common man in the multitude, who comes to Christ, and begs, "If thou canst do any thing, have compassion on us, and help us." But in the critical moment of desparation, when asked if I really, really, believe- all I can do is "cry out, and say with tears, Lord, I believe, help thou mine unbelief".

Revived.

"My mind is absorbed with the suffering of man. It besets me before and behind a very one sided view but I can hardly see anything else and all that the poets sing of the glories of this world seem to me untrue. All the people I see are eaten up with care or poverty or disease."

"Perhaps thou shalt say: The man has brought upon himself this misery; therefore I will stay my hand, and will not give unto him of my food nor impart of him of my substance that he may not suffer, for his punishments are just- 

"But I say unto you, O man, whosoever doeth this the same hath great cause to repent; and except he repenteth of that which he hath done he perisheth forever, and hath no interest in the kingdom of God.

"For behold, are we not all beggars? Do we not all depend upon the same Being, even God, for all the substance which we have...?"

These two passages have had great significance in my life. They've shaped my thoughts and behavior, and now this blog. Here's to regurgitating the thoughts that occupy my day.

And now from Elder Oaks (replacing the personal pronouns of course),

"I have neighbors to bless, children to protect, the poor to lift up, and the truth to defend. I have wrongs to make right, truths to share, and good to do. In short, I have a life of devoted discipleship to give in demonstrating our love of the Lord. I can’t quit and I can’t go back. "

My Airplane in the Night Sky

This is a blog about one of the people I love the most. Lil Aimee Larie Waller Kodra was born into my life one day as I prepared to enter the college world. I received an email from the said individual, "Hey, I'm gonna be your roommate." As we look back to our first messages, we both had the same reaction- we knew we were going to get along. BUT. We didn't know how well. 

 I was the first to move into our door. I texted her the flaws of our room, "Our drawers are broken, door doesn't shut, the bed's too long to fit in the room." And then little by little, actually a lot by a lot, we came to adore our little dorm. And each other. 

 Who knew my favorite activities would come to be hiding candy in her clothes, jumping on her bed, jumping on her, learning how to rap, going to her family's house, and listening to her talk about her day.

Aimee is a person whom I would label "Christ-like". Daaang, does she have her head on straight. She was a great example in living her testimony. She knows, loves, and depends on the Savior. She goes to the temple in the ungodly morning hours. She knows what's right and nothing deters her.

I love her for her directness. I need someone like her who will tell me that I'm being an idiot. She just says it like it is. It didn't take long for me to move past my comfort zone.

Aimee is the epitome of dedicated and determined. That's how she became a nationally ranked gymnast, earning a full ride scholarship to BYU. She owns more trophies and medals than you would find at a trophy store. That's the way she is in every aspect of her life. She pushes herself starting at 4am- with her workout, academic life, job, being a friend, the Gospel. This girl can get things done.

But here's the thing I love most about Aimee. She makes lemonade out of lemons. This girl has had more trials in her life than I hope I will ever have. Remember how she wins every gymnastic competition she's in? And how that's her passion, her life, her dream? What about when injury kills everything she had, eliminating any future hope of doing gymnastics again? She marches forward. On my birthday two years ago, her car (with her in it) was hit by a semi-truck. Let's consider the additional damge done there. But that's not all. Break after fracture after tear after surgery after surgery after surgery, Aimee takes it. I watched her lie in bed, almost paralyzed with pain. She never complained. NEVER. Life has been hard on her body and it doesn't stop. Even though her body's not strong enough to take it, her spirit is.
Guess what? A broken body's only half her trials. The rest is way too personal for me to tell the public via a blog, but I can tell you that her endurance is the same. Her faith is strong, her optimism dominant, her lovely character the same.

Aimee married a wonderful man this summer. Suuuureeee I cried my eyes out and I miss her more than she'll ever know, but that's okay. I will continue to put candy corn in her closet, fold her clothes, and clean her bathroom. I feel like I owe this girl my life. Love you, Aimsters!

Don't worry, I'm alive.

"I'm madly, deeply, truly, passionately in love with you." "Can you move?" "Only my lips." Says the worst movie of all time- the one my roommate and her friends are watching right now. Gag me. I don't really like chic flicks, which presents a problem in various situations.

Aight, enough of that. I'M DONE WITH SCHOOL FOR 8 WEEKS. Oh my heck, it feels so great. Actually, I still have this constant feeling that I need to be studying for patho. I thought for sure I was going to fail that clas. But noooooo it's over! Party party party! Just kidding, I wish.

So two years ago, my roommates and I moved in for summer semester. Little did we know how great it would be. As a celebration of the exact date, we had a bridal shower for Aimee. That guy better take care of her cause I'm gonna miss the crap outta her. My roommates and I went shopping for her gifts yesterday. One thing about Aimee- she always knew she would get married so she could have a baby- no waitin for her. So I went to the dollar store to get her a pregnancy test but accidently picked up the ovulation test. When I got to the register, the employee just looked at me and then said, "Um...I don't mean to get personal, but did you mean to get a pregnacy test or ovuation test?" The rest of the conversation was too awkward to post on a public blog. Loller coaster. Holla atcha hCG.

Gross, I can hear girls at my window "singing" Call Me Maybe. Someone please tell me why that song exists. Other things that should also not exist: The Bachelorette, Scoreboard Grill, Newt Gingrich, orange construction cones, raisins in cookies, Anne Hathaway.

I was just reminded of an unfortunate incident a week ago. I was getting out of my car at my house and lo and behold, B-Money is standing right there. Trying to contain all giggles, I started nice small talk. He eventually asked me if he could use my bathroom. Which was then followed by him sampling his new CDs and a live performance for my roommates and me. We hinted he should leave and he asked us for a ride home. I may or may not have told him I needed to go visiting teaching and ran to Dan's aparment. So bad. If you don't understand, here's a sample.