23

Everyone's talking about the article "23 Things to Do Instead of Getting Engaged before You're 23". The article is so preposterous that I won't even waste my time replying to it. The one thing I did like was the general purpose- stop wasting your time in life. If you want to do something, do it. Sure there may be barriers in the way, but do the things that will overcome the barriers and cha-ching! You're living a fulfilling life. Getting engaged or staying single is irrelevant. It's all about becoming a Yes Person. So here's 23 things I want to do before I'm 23.

1. Get a passport
2. Send my nieces and nephews birthday cards
3. Visit 2 new temples
4. Get my bachelor's degree in dietetics...even if it kills me
5. Run a half marathon
6. Visit Seattle
7. Find 30 family names and get dem dunked
8. Participate in a White Coat Ceremony
9. Win a freaking intramural champion shirt- we were so, so close last semester
10. Build a fort, a good fort
11. Read the Bible, probably not all of it, but probably a good portion of it
12. Say yes to a date
13. Learn how to make curry
14. Eat at the MOA Cafe (so I can prove to everyone that Pen Court is better)
15. Hand off the baton in Scenic View, aka retire as program director smoothly. My baby.
16. Watch a Lord of the Rings movie
17. Take 3 steps to become more granola
18.  Do the research
19. Visit a national park I have never been to before
20. Go to a Vocal Point concert
21. Havasupai.
22. Do my laundry and fold it and put it away in the same day
23. Decide what I'm going to do with this crazy passion I have for sociology

Photo by: Emma Vidmar Photography [[http://smilemepretty.blogspot.com]]

Anniversary from Hell

Tonight commemorates the year anniversary of one of the worst nights of my life. Fortunately, I didn't realize that night was the catalyst that put me in-what I will remember for the rest of my life- as my semester in hell. Despite the horrible memories, I look back with profound gratitude for the people who helped me. Here are the people who served as a flotation device, thanks guys.

*Kamree, who listened to me sob my eyes out time after time
*Lauren, who let me stay at her house
*Larlee, for taking time out of studying- almost every time- to give me a pep talk
*Jordan, for being ridiculously encouraging and getting me out of my apt
*My bishop, for a beautiful blessing & real compassion, having had similar trials
*Chrissy, who let me stay at her house for weeks, listened to me almost every day, climbed a bajilion flights of stairs so we could deliver ads to apartment complexes to sell my contract, who was so compassionate and patient and non-judgmental. I'm pretty sure she even did my homework a time or two.
*Emma who wasn't freaking nuts like the others around us
*Paul, who played mediator time and time again, gave me updates, gave me advice, encouraged me to do better
*Elder Bednar, who gave the most powerful fireside on "not shrinking" when trials come
*Eric, who convinced me to let myself have fun once in a while, took me rock climbing & camping, invited me over every Wednesday night for our favorite TV show
*My professors, who were more compassionate, encouraging, and patient than I could have ever dreamed
*Tyler, who had the guts to finally be serious, look me in the eye, and say "Don't you ever say that again"
*Daren, I guess. Thanks for not being a douchebag whenever we ran into each other.
*Carmelle, who let me go to her house whenever I needed or wanted
*My other sisters who called me and chatted and made sure I was doing okay
*Casey, for hanging out and being a bff
*Steel, who was my only date of the semester that didn't make me want to sell my life to the nunnery
*The people on my club leadership committee-like Kirk- who asked if I was alright instead of saying, "Why aren't you doing more?"
*The most loving and compassionate Father in Heaven, who guided me every single day. I have never had such a time when I felt the most love and direction.

Wowza, I am blessed. These are the reasons I am alive. I know others have helped me, whom I failed to recognize at the time. One day I'll know.

This Week's Awards

Da da da! There are a lot of good things in my life. Rill good things in lyfe. Here are this week's finds. I do not apologize for the following goodness.

Documentaries. 
1. Miss Representation. This makes you feel empowered. It makes you feel motivated. (viewer discretion advised)


2. The House I Live In. This makes you feel like crap. It makes you cry.



Singer Friends.
1. The National Parks. My friends Brady & Sydney make a perfect duo in their video that was released this week.



2. Noteworthy. My friend Jen is the adorable 3rd soloist. These ladies are in a competition to open for Kelly Clarkson at this year's Stadium of Fire.



Songs. 
1. Call Me Maybe meets Mumford & Sons and The Lumineers. Lovely.



2. Sometime Around Midnight. The guys sang/screamed this 100 times on our way to Cali. It is my life.
Om-Noms.
1. Tomato Orecchiette Pasta

2. Paprika Chicken

Videos.
1. If We Could See Inside Other People's Hearts.



2. The Why and How of Effective Altruism.

Run.

March is the month I get to make a few decisions. SOME PRETTY HEAVY DECISIONS. There are so many factors that play into each of them, they start to intertwine, everything's a mess, and it gets overwhelming. Last week, I was supposed to decide whether or not to keep my position in Y-Serve. As I explained some complicated factors to one of my supervisors there, she gave me the most beautiful insight. Not that I was complaining or feeling bad about having decisions to make, I just didn't realize what a blessing  it is to make my life into an adventure. There are so many things I can do. There are so many people I can help. I can make my life into what I want it to be. So, here's my excitement for deciding which grad schools to apply to, where to go on an internship, where to live, which service program to direct, how much time to spend studying for the GRE and most importantly- what kind of outlook I'm going to have. The sun was out today! Here are some of my favorite outdoorsy-ish pictures from the last year. My life is pretty open right now- so let the next set of adventures begin. 

"I'm going to open my mind to all these new found exciting possibilities...I gotta grow up, be someone. 

Draw a map, find a path, take a breath, and run."  

Right now.

Right now.

Grading papers.

Garlic bread.

Band of Horses.

Life is good.

This is not a haiku.

And neither are you.

Midnight Musings

A few weeks ago, my dear friend Claire taught a very insightful lesson in Relief Society that was exactly what I needed. Here are some my thoughts on it and conclusions I have made since then.

One of Satan's most efficient tactics is to tempt us to let our lives me run by fear and doubt. In our lesson, Claire talked about how her fiance used to not take shots in basketball because he was scared of missing. Sure, that example seems silly, but I definitely do that in my life.

There are a lot of things I am scared of. Suddenly, they all seem to be hitting me in the face. And right now, I honestly don't know how I'm going to make it through the next 4 months. Of course, I know I will, I just don't know how.

As I thought about this last night, I had an epiphany. This is one of the very basic lessons I learned in Primary. Let's be honest- we all have our favorite Book of Mormon stories, and maybe we have some we don't necessarily like as much as others. Well, for me, Nephi was not my favorite. I attribute this to an "overused" (yeah, I know, no such thing) story. It's the one that's always talked about, the one I always read about, it's the song I didn't like singing in Primary, it's the only scripture mastery people use as spiritual thoughts, etc. Anyway- I tend to always tune out anything about Nephi (call to repentance on aisle 4). However, last night, it came to life. When Nephi had to go get the plates, he really didn't know what he was doing. This was an irrational death wish. But he knew that "the Lord giveth no commandments unto the children of men, save he shall prepare a way for them".

Seriously- logically, there is no way that I can do some of the things I need to do right now. But I, like Nephi, know that I haven't been abandoned. I haven't been asked to do things that are impossible. I haven't been asked to live beyond my capacity.

As I try to put my fears and doubts aside, clinging to faith, sometimes I struggle. I'm so similar to one spoken of in Mark 9. A common man in the multitude, who comes to Christ, and begs, "If thou canst do any thing, have compassion on us, and help us." But in the critical moment of desparation, when asked if I really, really, believe- all I can do is "cry out, and say with tears, Lord, I believe, help thou mine unbelief".

Revived.

"My mind is absorbed with the suffering of man. It besets me before and behind a very one sided view but I can hardly see anything else and all that the poets sing of the glories of this world seem to me untrue. All the people I see are eaten up with care or poverty or disease."

"Perhaps thou shalt say: The man has brought upon himself this misery; therefore I will stay my hand, and will not give unto him of my food nor impart of him of my substance that he may not suffer, for his punishments are just- 

"But I say unto you, O man, whosoever doeth this the same hath great cause to repent; and except he repenteth of that which he hath done he perisheth forever, and hath no interest in the kingdom of God.

"For behold, are we not all beggars? Do we not all depend upon the same Being, even God, for all the substance which we have...?"

These two passages have had great significance in my life. They've shaped my thoughts and behavior, and now this blog. Here's to regurgitating the thoughts that occupy my day.

And now from Elder Oaks (replacing the personal pronouns of course),

"I have neighbors to bless, children to protect, the poor to lift up, and the truth to defend. I have wrongs to make right, truths to share, and good to do. In short, I have a life of devoted discipleship to give in demonstrating our love of the Lord. I can’t quit and I can’t go back. "