This Week's Awards

Da da da! There are a lot of good things in my life. Rill good things in lyfe. Here are this week's finds. I do not apologize for the following goodness.

Documentaries. 
1. Miss Representation. This makes you feel empowered. It makes you feel motivated. (viewer discretion advised)


2. The House I Live In. This makes you feel like crap. It makes you cry.



Singer Friends.
1. The National Parks. My friends Brady & Sydney make a perfect duo in their video that was released this week.



2. Noteworthy. My friend Jen is the adorable 3rd soloist. These ladies are in a competition to open for Kelly Clarkson at this year's Stadium of Fire.



Songs. 
1. Call Me Maybe meets Mumford & Sons and The Lumineers. Lovely.



2. Sometime Around Midnight. The guys sang/screamed this 100 times on our way to Cali. It is my life.
Om-Noms.
1. Tomato Orecchiette Pasta

2. Paprika Chicken

Videos.
1. If We Could See Inside Other People's Hearts.



2. The Why and How of Effective Altruism.

Run.

March is the month I get to make a few decisions. SOME PRETTY HEAVY DECISIONS. There are so many factors that play into each of them, they start to intertwine, everything's a mess, and it gets overwhelming. Last week, I was supposed to decide whether or not to keep my position in Y-Serve. As I explained some complicated factors to one of my supervisors there, she gave me the most beautiful insight. Not that I was complaining or feeling bad about having decisions to make, I just didn't realize what a blessing  it is to make my life into an adventure. There are so many things I can do. There are so many people I can help. I can make my life into what I want it to be. So, here's my excitement for deciding which grad schools to apply to, where to go on an internship, where to live, which service program to direct, how much time to spend studying for the GRE and most importantly- what kind of outlook I'm going to have. The sun was out today! Here are some of my favorite outdoorsy-ish pictures from the last year. My life is pretty open right now- so let the next set of adventures begin. 

"I'm going to open my mind to all these new found exciting possibilities...I gotta grow up, be someone. 

Draw a map, find a path, take a breath, and run."  

Right now.

Right now.

Grading papers.

Garlic bread.

Band of Horses.

Life is good.

This is not a haiku.

And neither are you.

Midnight Musings

A few weeks ago, my dear friend Claire taught a very insightful lesson in Relief Society that was exactly what I needed. Here are some my thoughts on it and conclusions I have made since then.

One of Satan's most efficient tactics is to tempt us to let our lives me run by fear and doubt. In our lesson, Claire talked about how her fiance used to not take shots in basketball because he was scared of missing. Sure, that example seems silly, but I definitely do that in my life.

There are a lot of things I am scared of. Suddenly, they all seem to be hitting me in the face. And right now, I honestly don't know how I'm going to make it through the next 4 months. Of course, I know I will, I just don't know how.

As I thought about this last night, I had an epiphany. This is one of the very basic lessons I learned in Primary. Let's be honest- we all have our favorite Book of Mormon stories, and maybe we have some we don't necessarily like as much as others. Well, for me, Nephi was not my favorite. I attribute this to an "overused" (yeah, I know, no such thing) story. It's the one that's always talked about, the one I always read about, it's the song I didn't like singing in Primary, it's the only scripture mastery people use as spiritual thoughts, etc. Anyway- I tend to always tune out anything about Nephi (call to repentance on aisle 4). However, last night, it came to life. When Nephi had to go get the plates, he really didn't know what he was doing. This was an irrational death wish. But he knew that "the Lord giveth no commandments unto the children of men, save he shall prepare a way for them".

Seriously- logically, there is no way that I can do some of the things I need to do right now. But I, like Nephi, know that I haven't been abandoned. I haven't been asked to do things that are impossible. I haven't been asked to live beyond my capacity.

As I try to put my fears and doubts aside, clinging to faith, sometimes I struggle. I'm so similar to one spoken of in Mark 9. A common man in the multitude, who comes to Christ, and begs, "If thou canst do any thing, have compassion on us, and help us." But in the critical moment of desparation, when asked if I really, really, believe- all I can do is "cry out, and say with tears, Lord, I believe, help thou mine unbelief".